Some cultures have a hundred words for snow. English has one word for friend.

I started writing this after Glennon Doyle, Amanda Doyle, and Abby Wambach named the problem on We Can Do Hard Things — "Friendship: What is it and why do we need it now more than ever?", January 24, 2022. They put words to something I had been feeling for years: when we call every kind of relationship "friend," we create confusion, mismatched expectations, and unnecessary hurt.

My grandmother was a psychiatrist. When I was a kid, she drew me concentric rings with my name at the center, the rings representing various levels of relationships- a diagram to understand my place in the world and how to have healthy boundaries. It has taken me decades to actually learn how to use it.

100 Words for Friend grew out of both: 101 entries (one for the Self/Your Inner Wise Advocate at the very center) mapping the full range of human connection, from strangers you will never meet to the parts of yourself you are still learning to befriend.

The Dictionary is the book. Every entry, browseable by ring, searchable by anything.

The Relationship Map is the interactive version of my grandmother's drawing. Drag any of the 100 terms onto a ring and label it with a name or initials. Return to it as your relationships shift. Use it to track what is happening, name what you want, and shift your own expectations when you are not getting what you need.